Kenny (goofynerdk) wrote,
Kenny
goofynerdk

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*This* Is Why I Don't Like Horror Movies...

(I am going to try and resist the urge to do a hodgepodge post today, and see if I can keep it focused on one topic. Here goes.)

My current work schedule has me working Saturday mornings, so I had to get up early today. I actually woke up twenty minutes before my alarm went off, which, while not unprecedented, is nevertheless unusual.

Technically, "I was awakened" would be more correct.

By a nightmare.

A NIIIIIIIGHT-MAAAAAAAARRRRRRRE!

[FLASH OF LIGHTNING; CLAP OF THUNDER]

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

[SLOW ROLL OF THUNDER]

...

...BLÜCHER!

[FLASH OF LIGHTNING; CLAP OF THUNDER; WHINNIES OF HORSES]

Ahem.

There was not much to this particular dream, other than the climax, which had me swordfighting an invisible ghost. Not really sure what led up to this. Not saying he started it; not saying I started it. Suffice it to say that words were exchanged, and matters escalated from there.

Now, fighting a sword-wielding ghost (an *invisible* one, no less!) evidently isn't as difficult as one would think, at least in dreamspace. I was actually holding my own for a while, and I could swear I had him on the ropes at one point. (Or whatever the fencing equivalent of "on the ropes" might be...)

I'm pretty sure he cheated. Of course, this raises many questions:

What, exactly, were the rules of this scrap?
How, exactly, does a ghost cheat in a swordfight?
Why, exactly, am I so sure that he cheated, and that I didn't just suck out loud at fencing?
When, exactly, am I going to stop phrasing questions in this ridiculously bombastic manner?

To make a long story short ("too late"), he finally managed to cleave me in twain, from crown to...well, all the way through. I was truly and properly bisected. (How's that for a new angle?) (How's that for a cute pun?) That's when I woke up.

Happily, I wasn't too frightened by this nightmare, just somewhat shocked and a little sweaty. I've had nightmares where I've been so terrified that I was desperately trying to scream, and yet almost no sound came out. So this one was not bad as nightmares go. Plus I got an entertaining story out of it. Well, entertaining to me, anyway.

So then, what *does* count as a scary nightmare for me? While I'm at it, let me open the floor on this question to anyone who would like to answer: what is the scariest nightmare you personally remember having?

For me, I guess it would have to be a tie between the one where my parents were murdered by an international crime syndicate and I was on the run for months, and the one where Scrooge McDuck basically got involved in nuclear Armageddon with a rogue worm in his garden. (That last one doesn't sound like much, I know, but at the time it scared the holy hell out of me.)

Pleasant dreams. (Or not, if that's your thing; I'm easy.)
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