I don't know why, but I really like the number 2010 as a year. It holds for me some subtle symmetry. One thing that comes to mind is that it acts as a solid anchor, tethering us all to the twenty-first century. All the years of the past decade were timid, tentative, meek forays in, but now there's no going back. For better or for worse, here we are.
Here is a haiku I wrote:
The afternoon sun
Is merrily reflected
By the tranquil stream.
Here is another haiku I wrote (one which is certain to be original):
One hundred twelve; its new name--
I've always been kind of a reclusive person, I guess. I've always found it difficult to make new friends; I've gotten very adept at keeping myself amused through books, puzzles, and such. (I used to count telephone poles on car trips, for example.) I didn't really grasp the concept of "going to a friend's house" or "having friends over" until the last two years of high school. It's still a bit of a novelty to me.
What has been bothering me lately is that I've had lots of days where I *wanted* to go somewhere and do something, and yet I couldn't think of anyplace to go, or else I couldn't convince myself that it would be fun/safe/worth the effort. So I didn't.
Avoidance is dangerous precisely because it's so easy to do. It's very good at making excuses for you:
"Oh, well, if I left now I'd just be late, anyway."
"I'm sure they'll get along fine without me."
"I would have looked like a complete idiot if I'd showed up; better to just stay home."
"Maybe next time."
At first, it seems like the perfect solution; rather than spending every waking minute worrying about what other people are thinking about you, you get to relax, since there are no other people around. Yessir, avoidance is a pretty neat fix for anxiety, right up until the point when you discover that *you* aren't in the driver's seat anymore.
Quotations are safe (once properly sourced). Wanna know why?
" 'Finxerunt animi, raro et perpauca loquentis,' Mrs. Who intoned. 'Horace. To action little, less to words inclined.'
" 'Mrs. Who, I wish you'd stop quoting!' Charles Wallace sounded very annoyed.
" Mrs. Whatsit adjusted her stole. 'But she finds it so difficult to verbalize, Charles dear. It helps her if she can quote instead of working out words of her own.' "